The #1 things that stops you from taking action

The real reason for your overthinking, procrastination and worry that will help you move forward once you see what's in the way!

Why is it, we can spend hours, thinking, planning and getting excited about specific goals but when it comes to taking action, there’s always some valid (to us) reason as to why it’s not the right time?

When there’s so much information and guidance available on-line today to help you do anything, have you ever wondered why you don’t? What stops you from taking action and following through on something you really want?

So often in my 1:1 coaching sessions with clients, they talk about an idea they have and their eyes light up. It's usually a desire to break free from routine, from being discontent and move in the direction of joy, fulfilment and doing something that matters to them.

But what they tend to follow up that idea with, is all the reasons why they can’t move in the direction of their dreams.

Things like:

I’d do it if I only knew what IT was
I’d do it if only I knew how, or where to start
I’d do it if only I had the right skills / experience
I’d do it if I had the money
It’s not the right time…

When I hear this, I share with them how their thinking works - and more importantly, how it doesn’t work. Some thoughts we have, while we totally believe them, they're just not true. They're a perception, an idea or belief, that limits our potential and stops us from taking action.

In thinking about what lights you up, have you ever had any of the following inner dialogue:

I’m not good enough
My idea isn't strong enough
I lack the necessary experience OR skills OR money
I’m too young/old
There’s too much competition
Who am I to think I can make that happen

These thoughts are subtle and they are debilitating!

The constant, relentless inner chatter is there for all of us!

A few years back, I was heading up a snow-capped mountain on a gondola in Austria, about to attempt skiing for the second time in my life. The first time was 20 years prior.

The grand idea from the night before to skip ski lessons and see if my limited skills would come flooding back to me, seemed like absurdity in that moment. My palms were sweaty, my breathing was short and a lump formed in my throat as I was fighting back tears. Fear had gripped me like an icy vice. I wasn’t even on the mountain at this stage! My skis were packed away outside the gondola and I was sitting down comfortably inside, in the warmth, observing the stunning view – my mind was absolutely racing.

The question popped into my head “where do you think your feeling of fear is coming from right now?”

Did I think my fear was coming from the mountain I was about to hurl myself down?-
Did I think it was coming from the long, thin, wooden planks that were silently staring at me, challenging me from outside of the gondola?
Did I think it was coming from the snow?

As I turned to look at my friend, (also a business coach), I noticed she was videoing me, recording my emotions as they were playing out. We both started laughing and it made me lighten up.

No, my fear wasn’t coming from anything external, it was coming from my own thinking. I was causing my own intense distress with thoughts of accident, injury and perhaps even (drama queen), death. An imagined, made up illusion of what was ‘about to happen’ was in that moment, creating my experience and paralysing me in a gripping, fearful state.

The number one thing that holds us back is - thinking that our feeling of fear, worry, anxiety, angst…etc, is coming from the person, situation or circumstance, rather than coming from our thinking about that external ‘thing’!

When we feel scared, upset, anxious, worried, or the opposite of those - joy, happiness, successful…etc, we immediately want to attach those feelings to something outside of us because thought is an invisible factor.

Our mind is the greatest special effects department – it feels like the boss, colleague, workload, money, job application or rejection letter is causing our feelings of upset. It could easily have looked to me like the mountain was causing my feelings of fear, or the skis themselves. But if that was the case, I would have felt those feelings of fear the whole time I was on the mountain, or in my skis. As it was, within the first hour I was gliding (awkwardly) down the mountain, laughing with my friends.

My conversation with clients is never to try and change their thinking; it isn’t a ‘turn that frown upside-down’ positive thinking psychology. I’ve tried that and whilst I think a positive outlook is beneficial, it’s not possible to maintain this all the time. It’s also very difficult to trick ourselves when we’re gripped by fear. If you’d told me to change my thinking in the gondola, I would have told you to go jump!

I share with clients what Thought Intelligence is, how our mental operating system works and what the real factor is that creates our feelings, behaviours and ultimately our experience.

Rather than what we think it is.

With every thought you have, there’s a feeling attached to it. And those feelings are intense and so real, they can stop you in your tracks. You feel discomfort, or fear and you think it’s a warning signal, saying something is wrong with you, or the situation you're in.

But your feelings, don’t know about what’s going on with you. They didn’t know about my skiing prowess or the slope of the mountain or how long ago my last ski session was. Your feelings are not telling you anything factual about the situation. They’re a built in alarm system that lets you know you've got thinking that's out of alignment with your innate Wholeness.

In understanding your Thinking System, you can experience feelings of fear, worry, desperation, angst and everything else on the emotional scale and still take affirmative action, rather than letting your feelings stop you, or block you. You begin to see that you don't need to take your thoughts so seriously because they'll come and go if you accept them without putting meaning to them and let them pass.

It’s not telling you anything about who you are, what you're capable of or anything other than what you're thinking in that moment.

Sometimes it looks like you have to have the whole process mapped out before you can ignite the spark of your dreams, passions or goals when in reality, all you need to do is just take the first step and then the next one. It’s like driving a car at night with your headlights on. You only need to see the road that’s immediately in front of you and you can make the whole journey that way.

If you’d like to know more about Thought Intelligence and how it affects you, your team or your business, then get in touch for a complimentary 30 min call.

I’ll identify any area where a particular mindset is blocking you from achieving the results you’re after, which will give you awareness of it. Awareness is the first step!

Categories: : Stress, Procrastination, Overthinking, Worry, Doubt